The Fellowship on Holiday
by RedLittleDevilAmadeo
Summary: Our little fellowship on holiday... Lying on the beach... Having some fun, after all they DO deserve it ! Happens after LotR but no one's dead. Please read and review
1. Journey to the East

The Fellowship on holiday  
  
Chapter 1: Journey to the East  
  
"Are we there yet?" asked the very impatient Hobbit.  
  
Merry, along with all his friends, had gotten up this morning at  
  
exactly at 4 a.m. because today was the day they were finally going on  
  
holiday! No more troubles, no more worries, no more evil monsters, no more  
  
fiery mountains, and most important of all: no more stupid ring!  
  
Anyway, let's get back to Merry's question...  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
No one on the magical flying broom answered him.  
  
Hello?! We're in Middle-Earth here!  
  
Oh yeah...  
  
No one in the cart answered him.  
  
"Please answer me, Gandalf! How soon?"  
  
The four Hobbits turned their heads to look at the Istari, who was holding  
  
the horse's reins.  
  
"We'll be there soon, but don't forget that patience is one of the founding  
  
principles of...  
  
"Okay, it doesn't matter! I didn't want to know that much..."  
  
The Hobbit leaned back against the seat and started a staring contest with  
  
Pippin. The four Hobbits weren't delighted to travel with Gandalf because  
  
even though they liked and respected him, he wasn't much - fun.  
  
As for the others, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir, they were happily  
  
traveling behind them, in an other cart.  
  
They were all singing their heads off and were noisily wolf-whistling at  
  
every Elf-maid or woman they came across. But in any case, they were having  
  
a lot of fun.  
  
Pippin flipped around on his seat (well, on the old, rotten, wooden plank  
  
they called a seat...) after an especially loud shout from Boromir to "Look  
  
back here, Hobbits. I'm giving the Elf and Dwarf a bath."  
  
Boromir had accidentally dropped his ale-filled gourd over Legolas and Gimli  
  
and they all burst out laughing, especially Aragorn. Boromir then leaned  
  
over the side of the cart and vomited noisily. It was obvious the herb in  
  
the pipe they were passing to each other wasn't just some Hobbit pipe  
  
weed...  
  
Now Merry had also twisted around and the two Hobbits both looked at the  
  
euphoric group behind them with envy. Now that was what real holidays  
  
should look like!  
  
After two more hours of traveling, they all arrived at a quiet inn beside  
  
the road. Gandalf slowly, and carefully, descended from the cart and  
  
stretched, his bones cracking at several places, as the four Hobbits ran to  
  
see the others.  
  
Boromir and Gimli didn't seem able to even walk in a straight line, whereas  
  
Aragorn and the Elf looked less affected by the ale and the herb.  
  
They entered the inn (after Boromir promised Gandalf not to sing any 'bawdy'  
  
songs while inside).  
  
So all nine of them sat down at a large wooden table in a corner. The inn  
  
was almost empty. Three Elves were having a glass of wine at the counter and  
  
kept turning around discreetly to gaze at a beautiful Elf-maiden, alone at a  
  
table. A Dwarf and a Man were also there, in a dark corner, having a  
  
deep-heated conversation.  
  
They each ordered a pint, even the Hobbits (totally ignoring Gandalf's  
  
comment that they were getting too much).  
  
They were quiet and calm until, without warning, Legolas and Aragorn burst  
  
out laughing, for absolutely no reason at all. The alcohol had finally  
  
caught up with them...  
  
Their almost-hysterical laughter kind of...woke up Boromir, who started  
  
singing (well shouting more than singing actually) and blowing his horn.  
  
"Two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale on the wall (toot toot)," he  
  
slurred, "two-hundred-fifty-thousand bottles of ale. If one of those bottles  
  
should happen to fall (toot toot) Two-hundred-forty nine-thousand bottles of  
  
ale..."  
  
Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli broke into loud snickers and the other patrons  
  
grimaced in disgust as Gandalf swiftly herded them all out the door, with a  
  
quick, forced smile at the owner of the inn who was staring at them  
  
disapprovingly.  
  
"Boromir! You promised not to sing! And you two!" the Istari continued,  
  
turning to Aragorn and Legolas, "what did you think you were doing,  
  
encouraging him like that?! Everyone was looking at us! Now do you think  
  
this is an example for these little Hobbits?"  
  
His face was bright red and it was quite a contrast with his grey hair.  
  
It was obvious everyone was doing their best not to laugh, but none very  
  
successfully...  
  
"Now get back in the carts and let's get going!" he ordered.  
  
They all struggled to comply, with varying degrees of success. Gimli was, in  
  
the end, forced to lift Boromir on his shoulders to get him in the cart,  
  
while Legolas, already having climbed in, pulled on the big Man's shoulders  
  
to help. At last everyone was settled in and they all set out once more.  
  
The journey continued in its boring fashion, for the Hobbits anyway. Sam was  
  
trying to explain to Merry how to properly cook a duck, while Frodo and  
  
Pippin were both turned around on their seats watching the cart behind,  
  
hoping their drunken friends would offer some sort of distraction.  
  
But even they seemed to have calmed down, except for Boromir who was happily  
  
holding the reins at the front, next to Gimli. They had started a  
  
'disgusting joke-telling contest' and it was very hard to tell who was  
  
winning. As for Aragorn and the Elf, they both looked asleep, and the man  
  
was holding Legolas tight in his arms, hugging him sweetly, while Legolas  
  
stared creepily ahead with unseeing, bloodshot eyes.  
  
"Do you think they're lovers?" asked Frodo with innocent, bright blue eyes.  
  
"Wouldn't surprise me," answered Pip, reluctantly pulling his lips from  
  
Sam's as the two broke their kiss. Frodo turned around and looked at them in  
  
astonishment.  
  
"Sam, what are you doing? You know you and I are lovers!" he shouted  
  
angrily.  
  
"Now don't go gettin' your knickers in a bunch, Mr. Frodo." Sam said  
  
apologetically. "It's just so hard to keep up with which pairing we're doin'  
  
this week."  
  
Frodo nodded, "I guess that's true," he agreed, reaching for an eager Merry.  
  
More time passed, and then...  
  
"Frodo Wake up... Mister Frodo!"  
  
Sam's voice echoed in Frodo's sleepy head. He awoke from his nap with a  
  
jump.  
  
"What? Is Sauron here? Saruman? They want to kill me?!?  
  
"No, Mister Frodo," answered Sam excitedly, "but we're here, we're finally  
  
here!"  
  
End of Chapter 1  
  
Did you like it? Please.. reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. We're here

THE FELLOWSHIP ON HOLIDAY  
  
Chapter 2 : We're here !

"Look at the beach!" yelled Pippin, his face beaming.

"I already love this place!"

"Hey Gandalf!" shouted Aragorn, "let's head quickly to the hotel, so we can go to the beach as fast as possible !

- I think we should wait until tomorrow, after all we must buy something to eat, put away all our effects, tidy the..." Gandalf's last words died in his throat as all the others glared at him.

They quickly split up into three rooms. Boromir, Gimli and Gandalf in the white room, the four Hobbits in the yellow room and Aragorn and Legolas in the green room.

After about fifteen minutes, they all met up downstairs, in the hall. Aragorn and the Elf arrived last ( the Elf's hair was messy... again! ). They all headed to the beach. The sand shone like gold and the sea was a beautiful turquoise, they all stared in fascination. Seconds later they all ran in the water, except Gandalf who would rather lie on the warn sand.

Inevitably, the Hobbits started a huge water fight and everyone soon joined in. When they returned from their bathing, Merry and Gimli were half-drowned and legolas seemed very annoyed with his wet hair. His braids had undone and stands of his pale hair fell in front of his eyes.

As for the Istari, he had been awoke from his sleep by the noisy racket of his returning companions. His face and body white with protecting milk against the sun and big dark sunglasses on his eyes, without forgetting the bright red cap on his head.

The Hobbits settled down and started playing cards while the rest were just chatting.

Suddenly, their attention was caught by a beautiful Elf-maid. She was running out of the water wearing a tiny pink bikini. Her long golden hair was swinging behind her as she ran.

Boromir chatted her up at once.

"Hi sweetie! What's ya name?

- Mary-Sue!!!" she answered with an evil grin.

All the fellowship was staring at her and Legolas looked like he was facing a Balrog of Morgoth.

"Mwahahahahahaha !!! I am the daughter of a really famous Elven King! My parents were murdered before my eyes! I miraculously got away, and now... you're all going to fall desperately in love with me!"

She was getting mad. Irresistibly mad...

"What do you say we drown her before anything bad happens?" proposed Aragorn, tilting his head to the side.

"Good idea!"

Aragorn and Boromir each took one of her arms and dragged her to the sea. Her loud and screechy screams fortunately didn't attract anyone's attention as the others were too happy of their holidays to let anything interrupt the bliss.

After they had successfully drowned the mermaid, the sun was getting low and they were all sunburnt, well except Gandalf with his three bottles of protecting milk, spray, cream....

They headed back to the hotel, all chatting and laughing as they went.

"Maybe we could go to the restaurant for the first night?"

But all the Hobbits seemed exhausted and were continually yawning. So they decided to stay in the hotel, eat quickly and directly go to bed. Gandalf would be staying with them, "you never know what could happen".

But the four remaining members of the fellowship wanted to have fun. Aragorn , Gimli, Boromir and the Elf ate in the hotel and after dinner wished good night to the Hobbit and the Wizard before going out.

"So what should we do now?" asked the dwarf, his fists on his hips.

"Let's go clubbing!" shouted Legolas with a huge smile, his white teeth shining.

End of chapter 2


End file.
